mindset

Breaking Free from Perfectionism: A Personal Journey

mindset

For several decades, I allowed perfectionism to sink its claws into the core of my being. It’s sneaky. Planning and preparing and putting your best foot forward is great practice. But when those good intentions turn into analysis paralysis and self-doubt and comparison, your joy is slowly and stealthily robbed. It is replaced by a mind that is on a continuously spinning hamster wheel. People-pleasing becomes an addiction that feeds on accolades. Soon you lose yourself to chasing the dopamine hit of others’ approval.

As 2024 was coming to a close, and I had several months and thousands of dollars of therapy under my belt, I had begun to recognize the incredibly liberating feeling of breaking free from the bondage of perfectionism and people-pleasing that had plagued me for far too long. During my therapy session this past week, I told my therapist that I recognized how far I’ve come when I attempted to update my photography website and royally screwed it up. Had that happened over a year ago, I would have spiraled and frantically tried to figure out how to fix it before people visited the site and judged me. Instead, I simply slapped up a disclaimer that the website was under construction and to please excuse my mess as I figured out how to undo my big blunder. Three days and countless frustrating moments later, my website had a facelift, and I was able to remove that disclaimer. It’s not perfect or quite how cool I had envisioned it to be, but it’s a thousand times better than what I had before. I’m proud that I didn’t allow my technological deficiencies to hold me back from giving it a go. Progress.

One of my biggest triggers that I had to recognize and reevaluate coming into 2025 was the amount of time I spent on social media. Staying “relevant” on social media for my business had consumed me for several years. I had little to nothing to show for the hours wasted, and I was on the brink of burnout. I could no longer tolerate the energy-sucking apps that demanded constant shifts and tricks to keep up with the ever-evolving algorithm. It was time for a change. I decided that 2025 was the year to do it scared. This meant being willing to suck at something new. That’s scary for a recovering perfectionist. My focus shifted from online likes to GENUINE connection with others (in person as much as possible). Ironically, as I stepped away from obsessively checking and posting on social media, doors began to open in the most pleasantly unexpected ways.

In early January, I found myself on a phone call agreeing to an opportunity that presented itself before I had a chance to overthink it. After the call, I seriously questioned WHAT I was thinking. Nerves started to kick in as I was researching and filling my cart with the equipment needed to complete this photography project. It would require a leap of faith and investing in and learning new equipment, but I decided to embrace my mantra and go for it. Mid February, several inches of lake effect snow fell as I drove to the location for a day packed with photo sessions. Cancelling was not an option, and the less than ideal road conditions added to my already fried nerves. But you know what? I freaking did it. A few weeks later, another dance studio reached out to me and asked for a similar service. Had I turned those opportunities down for fear of failure, I would not have hit my best first quarter EVER. They helped me get through the slump and imposter syndrome that inevitably hits every winter. More importantly, I proved to myself that I can, indeed, do it scared.

While photography remains a constant for me in 2025, a major pivot has taken place in other areas of my life. After over 20 years of working full-time, then part-time, then p.r.n. as a registered nurse for an orthopedic and spine surgeon, I stepped away from the medical field to focus on hospitality. My husband and I launched a vacation rental in the Poconos. We spent over two years building and dreaming up the space, and finally, our dream became a reality. Life takes us on expected twists and turns. I never foresaw owning and managing a vacation rental. Nursing had been my plan since grade school. I am so grateful for the years I had working with an amazing team of people who gave me room to learn and grow as a nurse. I think that second grade girl, who decided she wanted to grow up and be a nurse, would be proud of who she has become. But a second grade dream doesn’t necessarily mean a lifetime dream, and it was time for the page to turn.

Our first few months of launching our vacation rental have exceeded our expectations. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t get a tad anxious as guests arrive. We poured so much of our hearts and time and energy into providing a peaceful oasis. I’m always a bit on edge until I hear guest’s feedback of how much they are enjoying the dreamy getaway with their family, friends, and loved ones. I guess I’m still chasing accolades a bit. Do we ever tire of hearing words of affirmation and encouragement? This home to gather and make memories in reaches far beyond our little family. Every weekend and several weekdays since we launched in early January, our modern mountain chalet has been filled with friends, families, and loved ones seeking togetherness, nearby outdoor adventures, and a cozy respite from the daily hustle and bustle. Hospitality has always nourished my soul. This experience has already taught me so much about how to go above and beyond in caring for others while maintaining a balance of running a profitable business. It has helped me learn how to communicate with and serve my photography clients better as well.

As the spring and summer season is ramping up, I am so excited to be serving so many clients and guests. I am grateful for the grace that they extend to me as I learn and grow in these roles. While I am learning to let go of the perfectionism and people-pleasing, I also recognize that we never fully arrive. There is always room for us to improve from the lessons we learn along the way. As long as we don’t allow our mistakes to consume us, and as long as we take the time to recognize how far we’ve come, that’s progress. Progress–not perfection–is a healthy goal.

How about you? What have you pursued despite feeling intimidated? How have you overcome challenges and chased dreams? I would love to hear your story, so others can be encouraged to go for it as well. Perfection is not a reasonable or attainable goal. Instead, focus every day on progress. Celebrate the tiny steps as well as the big, terrifying ones. Cheers to doing it scared and thriving!

XO, Katie

walking changed my life

How Walking 1,000 Miles in 2024 Changed My Life

health, mindset

In November of 2023, I reached a point where I could barely stand myself. Seasonal Affective Disorder was in full swing, and the dreaded anticipation of winter blues had kicked in months earlier in August. Physically and mentally I felt like utter crap. I found myself experiencing a necessary shift toward mental health and well-being. For me, a huge component of that included taking care of my physical health as well. I needed to find something that I could consistently do and stay persistent at. In a desperate effort to turn the tide, I decided to set a goal to get outside for 30 minutes of fresh air and movement every day. That decision was a catalyst to set a broader goal for 2024. I wanted to prove to myself that I could stay consistent with something and maybe even hit 1,000 miles of outdoor walks throughout the year. This would require me to walk approximately 3 miles outdoors every single day in order to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, I don’t live in an area of the world with ideal temperatures year round. This goal would require me to face inclement weather, freezing temperatures in the winter, and unpleasantly humid days in the heat of summer.

At the end of January, I had only missed one day of walking and was feeling significantly better. My clothes were fitting better, my mood was relatively stabilized, and overall I felt that I had made progress. So I stepped on the scale, something I hadn’t been brave enough to do in close to a year. To my dismay, the number on the scale was 5 pounds MORE than it was the last time I had worked up the courage to face my fear. I have never been one to ruminate on the numbers on the scale. My focus has typically been more on how I feel and how my clothing fits. I never struggled with weight gain until I hit my mid 30s. When I was younger, I could either work out and eat whatever I wanted, or watch what I ate and rest on my laurels. Not so at this stage of life. At this moment, I could choose to give up, or I could persist and stick with my plan of consistently getting 30 minutes of fresh air and exercise every day. I chose the latter.

Getting 10,000 steps in a day takes effort. Setting aside time to go for a 2.73 mile walk every day requires even more commitment. There will be more days than not that you won’t FEEL like going. This is when good old tenacity has to kick in, so you overcome the feelings and take action. Here are a few things I learned from my walking journey.

  1. Walking is just as beneficial, if not more so, to your mental health as it is to your physical health. Walking not only increases your heart rate, it also increases blood flow to the brain, promoting improved cognitive function. There are several sounds in nature that occur at the 528 Hz frequency, which has been proven to have healing qualities at the cellular level. If you want to level up your walk, ask a friend to join you. The quality time and conversation that occurs is like a therapy session and workout in one.
  2. Consistency requires willpower. Listen to your body if you need to pace yourself to avoid injury. More times than not, you are capable of doing much more than you think. Take the necessary steps to overcome excuses. When I saw that we were going to have a week with temps in the teens and below zero wind chills, I ordered snow bibs, so I could have the appropriate gear to stay warm while keeping the commitment I made to myself. Be stubborn enough to prove to yourself that you can do hard things.
  3. You will have misses. While the goal was to get out every day, there were times when that wasn’t feasible, no matter how tenacious I was about sticking to that goal. I missed 13 days between early January and the end of May, but didn’t miss any days from May 26th through December 31st. Give yourself grace to miss the goal and get back up and try again. There will be bumps along the way, but your overall trajectory will be up if you don’t give in.
  4. Have an accountability partner. For me, that was showing up on social media and regularly documenting my walking journey. I also had a few friends I would check in with. They happened to be my walking buddies when we could coordinate our schedules. Holding yourself accountable to someone else is an extra motivator to keep you going and a great way to encourage each other along the way. Without accountability, I don’t know that sheer willpower would have enabled me to stay consistent and achieve my goal.
  5. Little jaunts add up. By early April, I had established a healthy habit and was challenging myself to hit further distances at higher speeds. Then we got a puppy, and my whole world collided with this adorable little fluff ball that required LOTS of time and attention. I felt like a prisoner in my own home and was utterly frustrated with how long it took me to go just down the street and back with him. Then I figured out that my walks didn’t need to be all 2.73 miles at once. Do you know how many times puppies need to go out to go potty in a day? A lot. So I started logging my short walks with him, and his endurance increased with time. Now we go for 2-3 mile walks together every day, and he is a huge reason that I was able to hit this goal. He LOVES the cold and snow, and on the most bitter cold days in December, I threw on my snow bibs and got him some boots, so we could go the distance together safely and comfortably.

This morning, I met up with my dear friend and walking buddy. Once I officially hit the 1,000 mile goal, we stopped by her house before wrapping up our walk, and she grabbed a custom headband she made for me. Find yourself a friend who celebrates your victories and cheers you on in the pursuit of them.

Have you set your health goals for the new year? I challenge you to find something you can stick to for the year, and then go for it. While the numbers on the scale didn’t decrease as much as I would have liked them to with this year’s physical efforts, the mental load that I was carrying has become significantly lighter. I’m going to count that as a win. Expect there to be some hurdles and resistance along the way to achieving your goals, but don’t allow the setbacks to keep you from your comeback.

XO, Katie

SAD: how to recognize it, ways to combat it, and when to get professional help

mindset

The skies turn to gray, the earth turns brown, and daylight escapes us. Decreased sunlight in the fall and winter months messes with our circadian rhythm, leading to decreased serotonin levels and negatively impacts our mood. It also disrupts our melatonin levels, further affecting our mood and sleep patterns. Many people can trek through the dark days of winter with relative ease, while 5% will experience a more severe form of the “winter blues” called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

How to recognize SAD

Seasonal Affective Disorder tends to hit around the same time in late fall or early winter each year and improves in the spring and summer months when the sun makes a more regular appearance. Those experiencing SAD will feel down most days and will lose interest in what they once enjoyed. Social interactions may be avoided, and experiencing any sort of rejection feels devastating. Other common symptoms include decreased energy, carb cravings, overeating, difficulty concentrating, oversleeping, anxiety, irritability, and feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.

Ways to combat SAD

While Seasonal Affective Disorder is inevitable for some, there ARE action steps we can take to alleviate the severity of the symptoms. I knew when I was dreading winter in the middle of August, something had to be done. I needed to proactively combat the dreaded winter blues. Daily exercise and time in fresh air has been key. Many sounds in nature occur at the frequency of 528 Hz, which is healing at the cellular level and has been proven to reduce stress and anxiety and aid in DNA repair. Vitamins can also promote optimal health. I joke that I take Vitamin B to chase the “B” away, but it’s true. My family is just as grateful for this supplement as I am. Its dual action of mood stabilization and energy boosting is a game changer. Vitamin C is an excellent immune system supporter to keep those cells operating at their prime, particularly during the colder months when we are more prone to illness. Vitamin D enhances serotonin activity, which also bolsters mood, and if you live anywhere that gets minimal sunshine in the winter months, it is an essential supplement that provides benefits far beyond mood improvement. In addition to exercise and supplements, we must guard our hearts and minds. An occasional social media break allows you to be still and refocus on the priorities in your life. Take time to ingest positive information via the Bible or self-help book of choice or by listening to encouraging podcasts. Throw on some upbeat tunes and enjoy an impromptu dance party. Start a gratitude journal. It reframes the mind with positives. There is ALWAYS something for which we can be thankful. Practice writing down three things each day that you are grateful for. Give yourself a task to accomplish every day. Something as simple as cleaning out a drawer or cupboard or organizing an area gives a sense of accomplishment and helps you keep going.

When to get professional help

If you have taken the necessary action steps and are still experiencing the blues for days on end, are encountering a change in sleep patterns and appetite, are turning to alcohol or other substances to cope, or are feeling helpless, hopeless, or worthless, it’s time to seek professional help. Whether you simply need some light therapy or need something more intensive along the lines of psychotherapy and antidepressant medication, an experienced and certified medical professional can help you get through these dark days until the sun is shining and you have a pep back in your step. There is NO SHAME in getting the help that you need. You are not alone and do not need to suffer on your own.

Brighter days are ahead. XO, Katie

Why We Sabotage Our Own Success and How to Stop the Cycle

mindset

For too long, the fear of success paralyzed me more than the fear of failure. Could I handle the level of success that I was aiming for? Would people wrongly judge me for a materialistic, money-hungry snob if my bank account reached a certain amount? Should I minimize my goals to avoid being misunderstood? These thoughts and more swirled around in my head, limiting me from pursuing my passion and purpose. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. It’s been said that it’s the strongest muscle in the entire body, and while that’s debatable, there’s no question that it is quite a force to be reckoned with. In my early twenties, I really started working on watching the words that I spoke both out loud as well as in my head. What began as a challenging task became easier with time and practice. Sure, there are still days when I catch myself heading in a downward spiral, but daily affirmations help to keep my mindset on the up and up, even in the midst of seemingly insurmountable challenges. You will no doubt meet resistance when passionately pursuing your purpose, but there are tools that you can put into practice that will help you wade through the high waters.

One of the most powerful tools for growth mindset is affirmations. The key to staying consistent with speaking your affirmations is to have them in a place that you see every day. Mine are in my bathroom next to my mirror. Everyone will have affirmations that are unique to them and their goals, dreams, and desires. I am a person of faith, so mine are rooted in scriptures and principles that I know to be true and then branch out into additional goals for my personal life as well as business. They are all written in the present tense. Speak what you want, not what you have.

Another action step that has helped me through difficult times is gratitude journaling. I endeavor to find three things each day that I am grateful for. Some days, those can be really massive milestones and accomplishments, and other days it can be as simple as, I’m thankful I’m alive. Even on our darkest days, the sun will still rise, and there is always something for which to be grateful.

Please do not mistake me for some Pollyanna, everything-is-turning-up-roses kinda girl. Life is hard. We will all experience trauma in one way, shape, or form in our lifetime, and it is vital to process the grief and emotions that accompany that in a healthy way. Professional help is out there and can make a world of difference. There is no shame in seeking it when needed. Affirmations and gratitude journaling are simply tools that I have learned to use to prevent me from going in a downward spiral too rapidly. A combination of resources and tools help us to thrive despite the odds. Today is the day to stop sabotaging your success. Start with watching the words you speak. What you say to yourself matters.