White coat syndrome is absolutely real. Medical appointments can be daunting, particularly when you are blindsided by a diagnosis or aren’t sure what questions to ask. My 20+ years working in the medical field, as well as advocating for my patients and family members, has taught me a few things, and I’m here to share them with you, so you can be better prepared for your next visit.
Establishing a doctor-patient rapport
Some doctors have excellent bedside manners, and some lack an inkling of compassion. They all have egos, and your visit will go best when you keep this in mind and show respect to them while also having the chutzpah to stand up for yourself or those for whom you are advocating. There is a delicate balance to this, and while easier said than done, when you strike the right balance, it leads to a beneficial visit where you will get answers and be able to work with your medical care experts as a team moving forward.
How I advocated for a family member
When my mom was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer years ago, and the medical facility she visited for treatment was several hours away, it was not feasible for me to leave my young children for days on end while she was undergoing surgeries and chemotherapy. Instead, I was able to develop a rapport with her medical team, who gave me permission to contact them at any time with questions or concerns that I had as her daughter and fellow medical professional. Sometimes those questions and concerns could be readily addressed via email. Other times required me to be on a conference call with them during my mom’s appointments, so everyone could be kept in the loop as I was advocating for my mom and helping her navigate difficult decisions for her health and life. There were times when I perhaps overstepped, but her medical team was gracious in answering our questions and extending compassion as my mom faced a life threatening disease. Sometimes there were alternate options when I pushed. Other times not. Her oncologist and I remain on great terms to this day, and I am forever grateful for her compassion in caring for my mom and being there for my family in dire times.
Maximizing the potential of your visit
Most physicians nowadays are working under a hospital system that tracks the time they spend with patients, which adds a time crunch on top of the underlying stressors that they face every day. One way to maximize the potential of your visit is to come to your appointment prepared with any questions or concerns. I personally have to write mine down, or they go out the window when I’m face to face with the doctor and feel intimidated or under pressure. Having your thoughts and questions organized on paper allows you to check things off the list as you discuss them with your physician and saves time. It can also help you avoid the hassle of having to call back with any unanswered questions that you forgot to ask at your appointment.
Ask: What would you do?
Do your research on whatever your medical concern or diagnosis is prior to your appointment. Discuss it with your doctor and ask for their opinion and expertise based on their experience. One of the best questions to ask when facing a medical situation is what your doctor would do if they themselves or a loved one were facing the same issue. This many times breaks down the barriers and gives them the space and permission to “be real.” After your appointment, you will be able to determine whether they are a good fit for you or if you need to keep searching to find a doctor who truly listens to your concerns and offers possible solutions. Sometimes you need to give the doctor a second chance. There have been numerous occasions when my first impression was less than, but upon giving the doctor another go, we developed a better rapport and were able to forge a positive doctor-patient team. It can take time to find the right doctor for you, but the effort and your health is well worth it.
XO, Katie